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From the Irish Dictionary

Artery:                   The study of paintings.
Barium:                 What doctors do when patients die?
Benign:                  What you be, after you be eight.
Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome.
Cauterise:               Made eye contact with her.
Coma:                    A punctuation mark.
Dilate:                    To live long.
Enema:                   Not a friend.
Fester:                   Quicker than someone else.
Fibula:                    A small lie.
Impotent:                Distinguished, well known.
Labour Pain:           Getting hurt at work.
Nitrates:                 Cheaper than day rates.
Outpatient:             A person who has fainted.
Post Operative:      A letter carrier.
Recovery Room:    Place to do upholstery.
Rectum:                 Nearly killed him.
Seizure:                 A Roman emperor.
Tablet:                  A small table.
Terminal Illness:    Getting sick at the airport.
Tumors:                One plus one more.